http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaG-OW7x8vw

 

Jocelyn Hobbie

 

one time when i was going through a break up talk, he got out his bb gun and started shooting the wall of the kitchen with it. he also started shooting bbs into my cup of coffee until the cup cracked. we didn't say anything for about 10 mins while he just kept shooting his gun. then i asked him if he had anything to say, he said nothing. i drank the last of my coffee, spat out the bbs into his cup, then left.

another time with someone else, i was staying in his apartment with a friend while he was at his mom's house. after we broke up on the phone, i got bags and bags of balloons and bottles of wine. all night my friend and i drank wine and blew up hundreds of balloons to fill his apt. in the morning, i put his apt keys into one of the balloons and we left.

then there was the time that i said i love you, and she said she loved me too but had to go back to her long-time partner. i felt like shit for more than one reason.
also, that one time that my boyfriend cheated on me multiple times and then asked for an open poly-amorous relationship, the girl that he slept with dropped off flowers and a hand-made card at my place. that was confusing, and i still felt like shit.

last time, i changed out of my clothes and put on his clothes, jeans, shirt, sweater, socks, underwear, beanie before i left.

i'm still not quite sure if i'm doing this right, but i'm pretty sure i'm getting better at it.

 

A.E.M. #10
BROWN
WENT OUR TODAY
PLEASE EMAIL
XIUXIUFORLIFE@GMAIL.COM
F YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS

 

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JAN 30
S30SalaOpal
13:00CHING CHONG SONG
13:35JAMIE STEWART
14:25JOE PERNICE

 

2nd xiu xiu single,
"Gray Death" from Dear God, I Hate Myself
to be released on itunes
tuesday jan 26th
on bended knee this new single presents you with a scroll upon which are etched its demands! heed them!!!!!

 

hello again
the first single from the new xiu xiu record,
Dear God, I Hate Myself
is available today on itunes.
and it is for thee, that it awaits!

 

Sunday 17 Janauary: 8 killed

Baghdad: 1 by bomb
Buhruz: 3 by gunfire
Mosul: 3 by gunfire
Kirkuk: Body found

Saturday 16 January: 4 killed

Baghdad: 3 by gunfire
Al-Zab: 1 by magnetic bomb

Friday 15 January: 0 killed

No-one killed

Thursday 14 January: 33 killed

Najaf: 27 by bombs
Mosul: 2 by gunfire
Khalisiya: 1 by magnetic bomb
Baquba: 2 by bomb
Khalis: 1 by gunfire

Wednesday 13 January: 10 killed

Saqlawiyah: 7 by suicide truck bomb
Baquba: 1 by gunfire
Edhaim: 1 by gunfire
Abu Ghraib: 1 by bomb

Tuesday 12 January: 5 killed

Sadiyah: 4 by car bomb
Basra: 1 by hand grenade

Monday 11 January: 3 killed

Mosul: 1 by gunfire
Kirkuk: Body found
Al-Mussayab: 1 by gunfire

and while you are trying to remember, regarding civilian deaths in Afghanistan~

"Militants were responsible for 55 percent of the deaths, but an additional 39 percent of the victims were killed by coalition and Afghan forces, said the report by the U.N. Assistance Mission in Afghanistan."

 

 

A list of charitable organizations in Haiti.

For those interesting in helping immediately, simply text "HAITI" to "90999" and a donation of $10 will be given automatically to the Red Cross to help with relief efforts, charged to your cell phone bill. (More information)

 

A list of charitable organizations in Haiti.

For those interesting in helping immediately, simply text "HAITI" to "90999" and a donation of $10 will be given automatically to the Red Cross to help with relief efforts, charged to your cell phone bill. (More information)

 

Prop 8 trial starts today! The youtube showing of the trials were banned, but still sending out my best telepathic telecommunication telepowers to everyone involved that we get this right!

paging Dr. Faggot...

 

 

i recently traveled through india. i wrote a lot. in an actual paper journal. but as these things usually go, i dread having to look back through my entries -- where i scribbled dazed and drunk illuminations under half-sympathetic and half-repulsed gazes of dozens of Indian men in the 2 sq. ft. seats of a 30 hour un-ACed train ride through the 120 degree suffocating pre-monsoon heat -- in fear that it will be dreadfully boring. how would i be able to reconcile myself to the fact that while smack dab in the heart of some of the most physically tortuous times of my life, all i had to say were probably, "fuck this shit."

...

i had spent a lot of time in Darjeeling. I was partly stuck because all the train tickets out of town were booked for a while, and had partly forced myself to stay put because i was sick--fevers and chills and bitterness.

first thing when i got up, i took walks up and down the mountains, to tea plantations, to the zoo, to the mountain climbing center, to the monasteries. sometimes the walks took until dinner time. sometimes only 30 minutes if i weren't feeling well.

then i would have some tea at the same place every day and buy a piece of pastry too for breakfast.

then i would walk again. the second walks always went through the market where i would purchase mangos and bananas. every day i got a different price for the same two mangos and two bananas. when it was the boy, rather than the older man or the woman, it was always cheaper.

back to the hostel and i would eat the fruits while watching hindi channels on tv, then i would walk again.

i usually sat at the town square during twilight to watch the sky go dark. the square was usually filled with indian tourists. there were ponies upon which well-dressed children were hoisted on and slowly paced around in circles around the square. there were photographers, hawkers, and tea-sellers. a lot of local people--old tibetan women rattling their strands of beads, groups of old men smoking and chewing, teenagers with too much gel in their hair--also came and people watched.

when it got dark, the orange street lights would create a strange effect through the thick fog, and i would order some tea from the street vendors and watch the crowd disperse for dinner.

if i were hungry i almost always had dinner at the chaat place. i think it was called hot and tasty. or hot and fast? i liked it because it was always busy, and i enjoyed the human company while jostling around for an empty table.

on the walk back to the hotel, i always stopped by the same corner store to make a phone call and buy a bottle of water. it was always the same lady who reminded me faintly of a lady that goes to my mom's church.

i never felt confused because i knew exactly what i was feeling. i was sick but it didn't hurt as much as it could have because i was alone. i didn't laugh but i didn't cry either. maybe i smiled but it's hard to tell what is on your face when you don't feel visible. perhaps there was no need to smile, either. it felt good. i didn't do much thinking about myself, but instead was satisfied just to feel my weight, to merely feel myself as a body. as it is, i am barely the woman i am.

 

out of my window, in a burst of natural life
today
i
spied theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

dark eyed junco
mourning dove
blue jay
white throated sparrow
carolina chickadee
brown thrasher
tufted titmouse
downy woodpecker
&
american robin

 

 

mostly i hate the holidays. thanksgiving, christmas, new years. all of it's pretty terrible.