|Contacts Tour Buy on iTunes Ringtones j-morrison.com|
Wednesday, October 21
i don't steal pills from her cabinet anymore. i stopped smoking. i even quit coffee. so i down mugs and mugs of tea pungent with the smell of steaming leaves.
i would watch a lot of tv, but i don't have one. so i download youtube videos, painting my nails and lips red in between the buffering silences and streaming flashes of beyonce.
i bake a lot, i add sugared ginger pieces to carrot cake, blueberries to zucchini bread, cardamom to cupcakes. i'd like to fool myself that i'm more different than i really am. my fridge is stuffed with tupperwares full of week-old cakes and bread.
nights are the easiest. 2am, and i head to the 24-hour walmart and push my cart around the giant aisles, swerving around stoners by the electronics section. i order chocolate chip waffles at waffle house. i go to the xxx video store and slowly browse the racks of cum shots while sneaking sidelong glances at the men breaking each other coming in and out of the booths in the back.
some time before morning, i find myself sleepless, sober, dry heaving against the bathroom tiles.
still it's easier to be alone. easier to be unhappy.
September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010