1) the world is pointless and meaningless and everything is pointless and meaningless and who cares about anything and i will just rot and i feel empty and like nothing and i will just dissolve into a puddle and then i'll be mud and then i'll dry up.

2) the world is pointless and meaningless and everything is pointless and meaningless so who cares and i don't give a fuck, so i will do whatever because who gives a fuck, and i will do what i want and everything i want and i will make anything happen because there is no other point and i don't know what i want but i will do something regardless, fuck it.

so, i have been juggling between the two lately. but i see a constant: pointless meaningless. so, it's either, take the pointless/ meaningless aspect, and then do nothing and rot. or, take the pointless/meaningless aspect, and just run around crazy. i say, run around crazy!

so here is my advice, it is the holiday time, and maybe you feel depressed and sad and pointless because everyone around you is jolly and full of love and you think everything is stupid - instead of taking the meaninglessness and feeling down, take it the other direction. RUN AROUND CRAZy WHO CARES WHO FUCKING CARES (did what i just write basically say that i'm bi-polar? fuck)

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extended version in a global context:

3) the rest of the world is rotting away in puddles of blood while your world is empty and plain and pathetic, and you have so much time on your hands to sit around and do nothing and think about the empty and plain and pathetic.

shit, does this mean that in another part of the world there is non-pointlessness and non-meaninglessness? does this mean that the construction of your world has constructed the meaninglessness? is it that your world presents the POSSIBILITY of the meaninglessness because of the underpinnings of your world? obvioiusly meaning itself is its own construction, i am merely referring to a world that is not dull.

wait, what if you feel fine? does that mean you're a tool or i'm just cynical?


TO BE CONTINUED IN ANOTHER BLOG...