Xiu Xiu - Dear God I Hate Myself

2010-05-18T16:17:00.000-07:00

i had a xiu xiu fuck you bag on my shoulder in the national gallery in london:

the attendant tells me to cover it up.

this is after i put the bag down to look up close at a courbet painting and an attendant (a different one, and total smart ass) told me that if i didn't pick up the bag he'd have to close off this gallery and call the police because this was central london.

(later i thought it was funny, b/c during the paris commune courbet helped destroy the vendome collumn)

it's been a long time, but now is always now.

2010-05-14T06:17:00.001-07:00

i am writing this in the turbine hall in the tate modern in london. come here. it's free. find the rhizome booth where there is a lot of nothing here.

after London I will go and find XX in Berlin and join them for these dates:

May 2010
22 - Berlin, Germany @ Hebbel Am Ufer - HAU 2
23 - Poznan, Poland @ TBA
24 - Warsaw, Poland @ Powieszenie
26 - Vienna, Austria @ WUK
27 - Graz, Austria @ Postgarage
28 - Budapest, Hungary @ A38
29 - Ljubljana, Slovenia @ KINO SISKA
30 - Zagreb, Croatia @ ZENDO UHO Festival
31 - Nuernberg, Germany @ K4
June 2010
1 - Frankfurt, Germany @ Brotfabrik

AND Because of this: NEW PHOTO PROJECT XIU XIU TOUR YES YOU!!!

http://davidhorvitz.com/may2010/

I think it is Xiu Xiu Tour Photo Project #???? I can't remember how many there were.

I am too distracted to write. There are many people here.

Sign up for the project. It is about TAGGING. TRAVELING. DISTRIBUTION. COPIES. UPLOADS. NETWORKS. BLOGS. INTERFACES.

also, if you are curious about a blog i put together for a conference happening at PSU this weekend (Open Engagement), I posted an email from Jamie S:

http://virtualparticipation.wordpress.com/

germ, pulsar and the dabbers

2010-05-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

Donation photos!

2010-05-13T06:02:00.000-07:00

Thank you everyone!!!!!

a.e.m. # 12 BLACK

2010-05-12T21:35:00.000-07:00

the final
(barring the bonus disc, WHITE)
A.E.M. #12 BLACK
is out today~
if you have any problems please email me
at xiuxiuforlife@gmail.com

thank you so much for the opportunity
to mail you this experiment.

some were better than others, i know,
but i hope there was at least one disc that
made its way into your night time.
x
ox
oxo
xoxo
oxoxo
xoxoxo
xoxoxoo
xoxoxoxo
xoxooxoxo
xoxoxoxoxx
oxoxoxoxoxo

Spotted on the subway.

2010-05-04T15:06:00.000-07:00

appropriation is the new black

2010-04-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

editorial coming soon

europe and china, korea and then israel and then europe

2010-04-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

April 2010
29 - Krems, Austria @ Donaufestival -
w/ Deerhoof performing Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures.
May 2010
2 - Shanghai, China @ YYT Live
3 - Beijing, China @ Strawberry Festival
6 - Busan, South Korea @ Basement
7 - Daegu, South Korea @ Guess
8 - Seoul, South Korea @ Rolling Hall
19 - Jerusalem, Israel @ Yellow Submarine
20 - Tel Aviv, Israel @ Levontin 7
21 - Leipzig, Germany @ Conne Island - Altin Village Festival
22 - Berlin, Germany @ Hebbel Am Ufer - HAU 2
23 - Poznan, Poland @ TBA
24 - Warsaw, Poland @ Powieszenie
26 - Vienna, Austria @ WUK
27 - Graz, Austria @ Postgarage
28 - Budapest, Hungary @ A38
29 - Ljubljana, Slovenia @ KINO SISKA (note change)
30 - Zagreb, Croatia @ ZENDO UHO Festival
31 - Nuernberg, Germany @ K4
June 2010
1 - Frankfurt, Germany @ Brotfabrik
2 - Duisburg, Germany @ Steinbruch
3 - Utrecht, The Netherlands @ Ekko
4 - Trier, Germany @ Exhaus
5 - Brussels, Belgium @ Botanique
6 - London, UK @ Plan B
7 - Roubaix, France @ Cave Aux Poetes
9 - Paris, France @ Filmer La Musique @ Point Ephemere
10 - Metz, France @ Cloitre des Trinitaires
11 - Lucerne, Switzerland @ B-Sides Festival
12 - Torino, Italy @ Spazio 211
17 - Roma, Italy @ Init
18 - Bucharest, Romania @ Liveland Festival

aem 12 ugh

2010-04-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

hi
aem 12 black (the end) will be delayed as will
aem bonus 13 white

aem 12 black (the end) will be sent in mid may
and
aem bonus 13 white
will be sent in july

i am very very sorry for this

thank you so much for being patient and nice!
xoxoxooxoxoxoxo

tonite

2010-04-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

john darnielle (of the mountain goats) and i are going to see cannibal corpse.
it feels like a date although i know it is not.

post script to this~
so the last two songs were so intense it was shocking
however that they could not go through a set without making homophobic "jokes"
break down was a total fucking bummer
it is weird to see them as both incredible and as a incredible losers.

Thank you!

2010-04-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

Thank you everyone for your donations to At the Crossroads fundraiser.

We are no longer taking donations, although the paypal button is still up on xiuxiu.org due to technical problems. If you do still want to donate, please visit atthecrossroads.org.

The postcards and packages should be getting into your hands in the coming month, the photo emails shortly after that. David is working on the packages right now, so that should be going out soon too. And details about the final amount and the song release will soon follow.

Thank you again everyone!!

oxoxoxox

i cant fucking stand them anymore. what am i going to do? FUCK THEE OBSTACLE AGAINST SANITY!

2010-04-02T00:57:00.001-07:00

This blog has moved

2010-03-31T06:50:00.001-07:00

This blog is now located at http://xiuxiu4life.blogspot.com/.
You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click here.

For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to
http://xiuxiu4life.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default.

LA

2010-03-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

hello LA
my heart hurts a little about our show last night
we were having 1,000,000,000 technical problems and i feel like
we were not at our best for you
LA, you are the most important city to me and i love you and
wish that somehow
there was a time machine and we could try again
thank you for being there

quote of an epoch

2010-03-06T06:29:00.000-08:00

"I have one pedal
and it is distortion." - angela seo

USA tour dates

2010-03-02T08:13:00.000-08:00

dear people of the most powerful nation in a state of extreme decline on the planet
xiu xiu is playing 1,000,000,000 shows
please look out below
we are playing with wonderful bands
girl in a coma
noveller
tune yards
johanthan meiburg of shearwater
scout niblett
zola jesus
talk normal
extra life
operative

5 - Greensboro, NC @ Guilford College
6 - Atlanta, GA @ Drunken Unicorn - w/ Noveller, Girl in a Coma
7 - Birmingham, AL @ The Bottletree - w/ Noveller, Girl in a Coma
9 - Little Rock, AR @ Sticky Fingerz Chicken Shack - w/ Noveller, Girl in a Coma
10 - Norman, OK @ Opolis Productions - w/ Noveller, Girl in a Coma
11 - Dallas, TX @ The Cavern - w/ Noveller, Girl in a Coma
12 - Houston, TX @ The Studio @ Warehouse Live - w/ Noveller
13 - Austin, TX @ Red 7 - w/ Noveller, Jonathan Mieburg of Shearwater
15 - Tempe, AZ @ Sail Inn - w/ Noveller
16 - Tucson, AZ @ Solar Culture - w/ Noveller, Extra Life
17 - San Diego, CA @ The Casbah - w/ Noveller, tUnE-yArDs
18 - Los Angeles, CA @ Echo - w/ Noveller, tUnE-yArDs
19 - Santa Cruz, CA @ The Crepe Place - w/ Noveller, tUnE-yArDs
20 - San Francisco, CA @ Bottom of the Hill - w/ Noveller, tUnE-yArDs
23 - Olympia, WA @ Northern - w/ tUnE-yArDs
24 - Portland, OR @ Holocene - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Operative
25 - Boise, ID @ Neurolux - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Scout Niblett
26 - Salt Lake City, UT @ Urban Lounge - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal
27 - Denver, CO @ Hi-Dive - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal
29 - Lawrence, KS @ Jackpot Saloon - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal
30 - St Louis, MO @ Lemp Neighborhood Arts Center - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal
31 - Iowa City, IA @ The Picador - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal
April 2010
1 - Northfield, MN @ The Cave @ Carleton College - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal
2 - Minneapolis, MN @ 7th Street Entry - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal
3 - Chicago, IL @ Lincoln Hall - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal, Zola Jesus
5 - Oberlin, OH @ The Dionysus Discotheque - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal
7 - Cleveland, OH @ The Spot - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Talk Normal
8 - Buffalo, NY @ Mohawk Place - w/ tUnE-yArDs
9 - New York, NY @ Bowery Ballroom - w/ tUnE-yArDs, Zola Jesus
10 - Cambridge, MA @ Middle East downstairs - w/ tUnE-yArDs
12 - Amherst, MA @ Hampshire College Dining Commons
13 - Philadelphia, PA @ First Unitarian Church - w/ tUnE-yArDs
14 - Washington, DC @ DC9 - w/ tUnE-yArDs
15 - Richmond, VA @ The Canal Club Downstairs Lounge - w/ tUnE-yArDs
16 - Chapel Hill, NC @ Local 506 - w/ tUnE-yArDs
17 - Detroit, MI @ Museum of Contemporary Art Detroit

dear God, i hate myself OUT

2010-02-23T12:28:00.000-08:00

the new xiu xiu record
dear God, i hate myself
is released full on outside on earth.
it is making its way through the
stupid wilderness to find you,
wonderful you

Dear God, I Hate Myself released in UK

2010-02-16T11:49:00.000-08:00

the new xiu xiu record
dear God, i hate myself
is released in the U.K.
as of TODAY

xiu xiu tour of UK will commence as of~

20 - Dublin, Ireland @ Whelans
21 - Glasgow, UK @ NiceNSleazy
22 - Edinburgh, UK @ Electric Circus
23 - Manchester, UK @ Islington Mill
24 - Sheffield, UK @ The Harley
25 - Cardiff, UK @ Cardiff Arts institute
26 - London, UK @ The Luminaire
27 - Brighton, UK @ Freebutt
28 - Coventry, UK @ Taylor John's House

thinking of you

2010-02-15T14:00:00.000-08:00

it gets amazing at about 3:00 minutes

2010-02-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeQjkQpeJwY

Strangers Marry After Same-sex Couple Denied License

2010-02-11T14:48:00.000-08:00

In an act of civil-sorta-disobediance, local LGBT activist Kitty Lambert received a marriage license to a stranger named Ed at Buffalo’s City Hall today, after being denied a license to marry her same-sex partner.

A small group gathered in the lobby before proceeding to the 13th floor. Entering the City Clerk’s office, Kitty and long-time partner Cheryl attempted to apply for a marriage license. Armed with the appropriate documents City employees informed them due to New York State law, they would be unable to grant them a license. As the clerk’s office employees gathered to watch, a tearful Lambert explained the benefits only available to straight couples with a marriage license.

With news cameras rolling, Kitty then turned to the crowd and asked for any male who would be willing to get married to her. A gay man named Ed stepped forward and volunteered. They briefly exchanged information and presented the appropriate documents along with $40. City staff verified the information, and proceeded to give them a marriage license.

Kitty’s point in approaching the City Clerk for a marriage license is that there is no religious basis for marriage, and it serves only as a legally binding contract in our society. Instead of being offered the ability to receive a license with her long-term partner, she was able to secure a license with a virtual stranger, strictly based on their gender.

via pinkbflo

DGIHM!

2010-02-08T21:09:00.000-08:00

New Xiu Xiu Album
Dear God I Hate Myself
is now out on itunes!
with TWO Bonus Tracks &
Lyrics & Liner Notes

Link to iTunes store

once more regarding the vomit

2010-02-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

The video was my idea. Jamie didn't exploit me or coerce me or anything like that.

Although this was a while ago, I grew up around a lot of people who were bulimic. Well not just bulimic, but had a lot of various issues with self hatred that were expressed in a million various ways, including cutting and drug use. Although I still encounter all various sorts of self-loathing, perhaps because bulimia was the most visible, prevalent, and even normalized form of self-destruction at a very impressionable age, I will always think of it as a major form of self-hatred. There is also something very physically torturous and viscerally disturbing (aka gross!) about the act of vomiting that strikes my fancy, I guess.

I remember one night that one of my friends was completely fucked up on a few different drugs. Then she went through the pantry and fridge eating all kinds of shit. She'd then throw it up, eat more, throw up, eat more throw up. After a couple of hours of this, I told her that she was fucking stupid and dumb and left. I never saw her again, but found out she died a couple years later from overdose. I felt stupid and dumb for calling her pain stupid and dumb.

So yes, me vomiting my brains out on video was gross as hell and it made me feel like shit afterward. Those tears and the "what the fuck is going on" look is sincere. But just because I look like shit does not mean that I didn't have a choice in doing that.

I don't know why so many people are assuming that I didn't have any agency in making of this video. I guess because I'm a young Asian female? Or perhaps some people don't understand that one can voluntarily choose to hurt themselves physically. Maybe some think it's just so stupid and dumb that one had to have been forced to do it?

I apologize for the rambling, but I guess I'm just trying to say, please don't attack Jamie for anything. It was my idea and I chose with full agency, undrugged, uncoerced, to do it. Also, I guess I am trying to explain a little bit why such a gross and stupid act is my way of showing self-hatred -- but then again, when is an act of self-hatred ever not gross and stupid?

oxoxoxox
please direct personal attacks, reproaches, unfounded racists/sexist comments, exclamations of outrage to xiuxiuangela@gmail.com

birds play guitar

2010-02-05T10:20:00.001-08:00

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/willgompertz/2010/02/40_wild_birds_play_a_gibson_le.html

hello trent

2010-02-05T09:17:00.000-08:00

xiu xiu for life blood shirts

2010-02-04T18:52:00.000-08:00

hi
if you ordered a xiu xiu for life blood shirt
it occurred to me that we did not ask for a size
please email
xiuxiuforlife@gmail.com
in the next 48 hours with you name and size

if we don't hear from you then you will get a an adult small or medium

thank you!!!!!

3rd single up on itunes

2010-02-02T12:46:00.000-08:00

aloha
the 3rd single from the new xiu xiu record
Dear God, I Hate Myself
is out on itunes today it is called
This Too Shall Pass Away (for Freddy)
crouched in a thicket of bamboo, it will spring upon you!

the votes are in and complex news

2010-02-01T18:07:00.000-08:00

hi
90% of people want and i quote
"shirts for everyone!!!!"
so more life draining effort on our part but we are
fucking weird ass perverts so it is ok
however
there are 46 total that were available and
again thank you so much but
in the three minutes that it was up
we got 54 pay pal orders in-
so a few people who paid will be getting their money back
and an apology from us.
if you end up being someone whose order is not able to be fulfilled,
please look for a small thank you gift in the mail.
again thank you so much
this is something that joe, angela and i worked on together to make and it was
incredibly satisfying and doleful.

PROBLEM with super deluxe

2010-02-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

sorry i am not so great at the interbot and

(wow !!!! thank you)

the super deluxe sold much faster than i had could keep up with counting before i was able to take it down

i will leave this up to a vote

more than 21 people (actually almost all the orders)

were for the super deluxe with the blood t shirt

either~

i can make more of the shirt, that means it will be less rarified by about 20 copies. (downside)

but everyone who wants one can get one. (upside)

i can figure out a way to make it work that only the first 21 people get a shirt.

please write

xiuxiuforlife@gmail.com

and let me know what you would like.

and thank you again so much!!!!!!!!

xiu xiu interview

2010-01-31T19:36:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaG-OW7x8vw

Jocelyn Hobbie

2010-01-31T16:29:00.000-08:00

Jocelyn Hobbie

break ups

2010-01-31T14:16:00.000-08:00

one time when i was going through a break up talk, he got out his bb gun and started shooting the wall of the kitchen with it. he also started shooting bbs into my cup of coffee until the cup cracked. we didn't say anything for about 10 mins while he just kept shooting his gun. then i asked him if he had anything to say, he said nothing. i drank the last of my coffee, spat out the bbs into his cup, then left.

another time with someone else, i was staying in his apartment with a friend while he was at his mom's house. after we broke up on the phone, i got bags and bags of balloons and bottles of wine. all night my friend and i drank wine and blew up hundreds of balloons to fill his apt. in the morning, i put his apt keys into one of the balloons and we left.

then there was the time that i said i love you, and she said she loved me too but had to go back to her long-time partner. i felt like shit for more than one reason.
also, that one time that my boyfriend cheated on me multiple times and then asked for an open poly-amorous relationship, the girl that he slept with dropped off flowers and a hand-made card at my place. that was confusing, and i still felt like shit.

last time, i changed out of my clothes and put on his clothes, jeans, shirt, sweater, socks, underwear, beanie before i left.

i'm still not quite sure if i'm doing this right, but i'm pretty sure i'm getting better at it.

a.e.m. # 10 brown

2010-01-28T11:30:00.001-08:00

A.E.M. #10
BROWN
WENT OUR TODAY
PLEASE EMAIL
XIUXIUFORLIFE@GMAIL.COM
F YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS

2010-01-27T19:52:00.001-08:00

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tanned tin festival castello, espana

2010-01-26T23:17:00.000-08:00

JAN 30
S30SalaOpal
13:00CHING CHONG SONG
13:35JAMIE STEWART
14:25JOE PERNICE

2nd xiu xiu single from Dear God, I Hate Myself

2010-01-25T22:08:00.000-08:00

2nd xiu xiu single,
"Gray Death" from Dear God, I Hate Myself
to be released on itunes
tuesday jan 26th
on bended knee this new single presents you with a scroll upon which are etched its demands! heed them!!!!!

new xiu xiu single on itunes

2010-01-20T11:38:00.000-08:00

hello again
the first single from the new xiu xiu record,
Dear God, I Hate Myself
is available today on itunes.
and it is for thee, that it awaits!

what were you doing january 15th?

2010-01-19T23:33:00.000-08:00

Sunday 17 Janauary: 8 killed

Baghdad: 1 by bomb
Buhruz: 3 by gunfire
Mosul: 3 by gunfire
Kirkuk: Body found

Saturday 16 January: 4 killed

Baghdad: 3 by gunfire
Al-Zab: 1 by magnetic bomb

Friday 15 January: 0 killed

No-one killed

Thursday 14 January: 33 killed

Najaf: 27 by bombs
Mosul: 2 by gunfire
Khalisiya: 1 by magnetic bomb
Baquba: 2 by bomb
Khalis: 1 by gunfire

Wednesday 13 January: 10 killed

Saqlawiyah: 7 by suicide truck bomb
Baquba: 1 by gunfire
Edhaim: 1 by gunfire
Abu Ghraib: 1 by bomb

Tuesday 12 January: 5 killed

Sadiyah: 4 by car bomb
Basra: 1 by hand grenade

Monday 11 January: 3 killed

Mosul: 1 by gunfire
Kirkuk: Body found
Al-Mussayab: 1 by gunfire

and while you are trying to remember, regarding civilian deaths in Afghanistan~

"Militants were responsible for 55 percent of the deaths, but an additional 39 percent of the victims were killed by coalition and Afghan forces, said the report by the U.N. Assistance Mission in Afghanistan."

sour times

2010-01-19T11:04:00.000-08:00

you are needed

2010-01-13T23:52:00.000-08:00

A list of charitable organizations in Haiti.

For those interesting in helping immediately, simply text "HAITI" to "90999" and a donation of $10 will be given automatically to the Red Cross to help with relief efforts, charged to your cell phone bill. (More information)

2010-01-13T16:09:00.000-08:00

2010-01-11T11:15:00.000-08:00

Prop 8 trial starts today! The youtube showing of the trials were banned, but still sending out my best telepathic telecommunication telepowers to everyone involved that we get this right!

paging Dr. Faggot...

if you study you will get typhus.

2010-01-09T23:39:00.000-08:00

2010-01-07T10:45:00.000-08:00

i recently traveled through india. i wrote a lot. in an actual paper journal. but as these things usually go, i dread having to look back through my entries -- where i scribbled dazed and drunk illuminations under half-sympathetic and half-repulsed gazes of dozens of Indian men in the 2 sq. ft. seats of a 30 hour un-ACed train ride through the 120 degree suffocating pre-monsoon heat -- in fear that it will be dreadfully boring. how would i be able to reconcile myself to the fact that while smack dab in the heart of some of the most physically tortuous times of my life, all i had to say were probably, "fuck this shit."

...

i had spent a lot of time in Darjeeling. I was partly stuck because all the train tickets out of town were booked for a while, and had partly forced myself to stay put because i was sick--fevers and chills and bitterness.

first thing when i got up, i took walks up and down the mountains, to tea plantations, to the zoo, to the mountain climbing center, to the monasteries. sometimes the walks took until dinner time. sometimes only 30 minutes if i weren't feeling well.

then i would have some tea at the same place every day and buy a piece of pastry too for breakfast.

then i would walk again. the second walks always went through the market where i would purchase mangos and bananas. every day i got a different price for the same two mangos and two bananas. when it was the boy, rather than the older man or the woman, it was always cheaper.

back to the hostel and i would eat the fruits while watching hindi channels on tv, then i would walk again.

i usually sat at the town square during twilight to watch the sky go dark. the square was usually filled with indian tourists. there were ponies upon which well-dressed children were hoisted on and slowly paced around in circles around the square. there were photographers, hawkers, and tea-sellers. a lot of local people--old tibetan women rattling their strands of beads, groups of old men smoking and chewing, teenagers with too much gel in their hair--also came and people watched.

when it got dark, the orange street lights would create a strange effect through the thick fog, and i would order some tea from the street vendors and watch the crowd disperse for dinner.

if i were hungry i almost always had dinner at the chaat place. i think it was called hot and tasty. or hot and fast? i liked it because it was always busy, and i enjoyed the human company while jostling around for an empty table.

on the walk back to the hotel, i always stopped by the same corner store to make a phone call and buy a bottle of water. it was always the same lady who reminded me faintly of a lady that goes to my mom's church.

i never felt confused because i knew exactly what i was feeling. i was sick but it didn't hurt as much as it could have because i was alone. i didn't laugh but i didn't cry either. maybe i smiled but it's hard to tell what is on your face when you don't feel visible. perhaps there was no need to smile, either. it felt good. i didn't do much thinking about myself, but instead was satisfied just to feel my weight, to merely feel myself as a body. as it is, i am barely the woman i am.

giving my life meaning... its just that-

2010-01-06T17:18:00.000-08:00

out of my window, in a burst of natural life
today
i
spied theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

dark eyed junco
mourning dove
blue jay
white throated sparrow
carolina chickadee
brown thrasher
tufted titmouse
downy woodpecker
&
american robin

look the fffuuuuck out!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-03T18:02:00.001-08:00

2010-01-01T14:38:00.000-08:00

mostly i hate the holidays. thanksgiving, christmas, new years. all of it's pretty terrible.

once upon a time in dallas, TX...

2009-12-30T22:30:00.001-08:00

i was lonely but lonely is an eyesore.
it was peanut butter.

but now i have a friend! and it is banana!

blue water, white death

2009-12-29T22:33:00.000-08:00

john congelton from paper chase, jonathan meiburg from shearwater and i are working on a record right now

t
h
a
t

is

t
h
e

room

a portion of mishimas suicide note

2009-12-28T09:48:00.000-08:00

"then you have no future. you will never be saved. it is the end. the constitution will remain forever. you are finished. you are unconstitutional. listen. you are unconstitutional. the jieitai is unconstitutional. you are all unconstitutional. i salute the emperor. tenno heika banzai."

as of late i am re obsessed with yukio mishima. it is a little embarrassing to revert to where one once was, but my commitment to reading him is easily twice what it was. in 2005 i first stumbled across confessions of a mask at a laundry mat in toronto. it feels so strange to be so swept away by the beauty, nihilism and romanticism of a right wing lunatic but maybe it is important to be pummeled and thoroughly confused by your connection to another person?

russia, thank you

2009-12-26T23:32:00.000-08:00

merry

2009-12-24T16:30:00.000-08:00

h
o
l
i
d
a
y
s

2009

2009-12-23T01:39:00.001-08:00

hello
these are both from 2009 and then permeating 2009

of~

give me love: songs of the brokenhearted - baghdad, 1925-1929
morrissey- years of refusal
noveller - red rainbows
shearwater - the golden archipelago
james blackshaw - the glass bead game
gentle - gentle
talk normal - sugarland
sunset rubdown - dragonslayer
mountain goats - life of the world to come
khanate - clean hands go foul
pet shop boys - yes
zola jesus- the spoils
blues control - local flavor
tim hecker- imaginary country
william basinski- vivian and ondine

permeating~

nico - desert shore
nico- marble index
nick cave and the bad seeds- your funeral my trial
Sounds of North American Frogs: The Biological Significance of Voice in Frogs
birthday party - hits
the greenwood singers- Songs Of The African Coast: Cafe Music Of Liberia
howlin' wolf- his best
infinite body - white hymn
jorge seu - cru
Penderecki - Orchestral Works
nina simone- finest hour
philip Glass - Portrait of Philip in Twelve Parts
wolfgang press - bird wood cage
various artists- drum, chant and instrumental music

¡viva mexico!

2009-12-21T23:23:00.000-08:00

same sex marriage passes in mexico city!

Monica Cook

2009-12-20T12:32:00.000-08:00

there is a God!

2009-12-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

Queer marriage equality has just
passed in Washington, D.C.!

lakeside

2009-12-15T10:54:00.000-08:00

we help each other out of our shirts and rub out the burns on our backs
the rotting on my skin fade blue and yellow
the lines marked into your arm curve like lace
bleach them in the sun until we can no longer remember how long, how deep, how far
let your feet touch my face and it will lead to water
and goodness swells in water

a.e.m. # 9 light gray

2009-12-15T10:37:00.001-08:00

AMBIENT
experimental
minimalist
#9
LIGHT gray
has gone out today
please let me know if you have any problems
willitburn@hotmail.com

american gulags along remote texas border

2009-12-11T22:32:00.000-08:00

12

2009-12-08T21:04:00.001-08:00

the age of consent in the Vatican state

nigel nolan

2009-12-07T18:05:00.001-08:00

oxoxoxox goodbye

2009-12-07T11:07:00.000-08:00

jamie stewart of xiu xiu solo shows in russia

2009-12-06T12:51:00.000-08:00

18.12.2009 St. Petersburg (RU), A2
19.12.2009 Moscow (RU), Gogol'

be there or be (red) square!

slimes, fungus and mushrooms

2009-12-05T17:11:00.001-08:00

julianne and david vs. goliath

2009-12-04T23:25:00.000-08:00

whales are interesting
driving makes 10% of green house gas
eating meat and cheese (industrial livestock) makes 18%
please be vegan especially if you have a child
or don't use protection in a motel
and will birth or have birthed (hjoe) someone who will grow up in the scorched 2020 z
hiroshima and nakasaki
1950 -1953 korea
2021 A.D. india vs china vs brazil vs indonesia vs free california vs equatorial african nations vs free portland vs dolphins and whales army vs grouper

new york too?

2009-12-02T18:14:00.000-08:00

Straight Americans need... an education of the heart and soul. They must understand - to begin with - how it can feel to spend years denying your own deepest truths, to sit silently through classes, meals, and church services while people you love toss off remarks that brutalize your soul. ~Bruce Bawer, The Advocate, 28 April 1998

In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation. ~Simone de Beauvoir

Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. We are all tied together in a single garment of destiny. I can never be what I ought to be until you are allowed to be what you ought to be. -Coretta Scott King

UK dates for the dang people of the ISLEz!!!!!!

2009-12-02T16:39:00.001-08:00

20 Feb IE Dublin Whelans
21 Feb UK Glasgow NiceNSleazy
22 Feb UK Edinburgh Electric Circus
23 Feb UK Manchester Islington Mill
24 Feb UK Sheffield The Harley
25 Feb UK Cardiff Cardiff Arts Institute
26 Feb UK London The Luminaire
27 Feb UK Brighton Freebutt
28 Feb UK Coventry Taylor John's House

2009-11-30T07:03:00.000-08:00

sophie jodoin

happy thanksgiving 2009! & canada pay for your sins!

2009-11-25T18:08:00.000-08:00

blank, blunt , bleak

2009-11-24T20:18:00.001-08:00

Our own andy W. says, while calling on a pay phone,
"oh i feel so glamorous today, oh i forgot who i was calling."

an accpetable evil?

2009-11-23T22:59:00.000-08:00

250,000 buffalo ghosts ~ 250,000 coconut ghosts

2009-11-23T22:53:00.000-08:00

By Joanna Jolly
BBC News, Bariyapur

Hundreds of thousands of Hindu devotees have converged on a town in Nepal for a festival which is considered the world's largest animal sacrifice.

The Gadhimai festival, which happens once every five years, is taking place in Bariyapur in southern Nepal.

More than a quarter of a million animals are expected to be slaughtered for Gadhimai - a goddess of power.

Sacrifice is a seen as a way of thanking the deity for good luck, or asking her for fortune and prosperity.

"The goddess needs blood," says Chandan Dev Chaudhury, a priest at the Gadhimai Temple in the centre of the festival site.

"If anyone has a problem, then I will cut the throat of an animal in the temple and that person's problem will be solved."

'Ancient belief'

Many of the worshippers have come from neighbouring India for the two-day festival.

Sixty-year-old Suresh Patak and his family travelled for a day to reach the festival from the Indian state of Bihar.

They have brought a goat to offer to the goddess.

"I have come here to worship Gadhimai. We are dedicated to her," he says.

Devotees have arrived from neighbouring India

"It is our ancient belief."

Festival organisers estimate more than half a million people are already at the festival site.

Many of them, like Suresh, have brought their own animals to be killed.

Behind high brick walls, thousands of buffalo move silently through the winter fog.

They are the largest animals to be sacrificed, but goats, chickens, pigeons and rats will also be killed.

Police inspector Bikesh Adhikari is one of the officials guarding the buffalo enclosure.

"First of all five buffalo are taken and sacrificed at the temple," he says.

"The rest are sacrificed here."

Two hundred and fifty local men have been given licences to slaughter the animals using traditional khukuri knives.

Spectators queue to watch the killing, each paying 20 Nepali rupees (26 cents).

But the scale and method of this sacrifice has angered some Nepalis.

'Cruel and barbaric'

Outside the temple grounds, a small but vocal group of animal rights activists cracked coconuts in a symbolic temple sacrifice.

It was a last minute plea to the organisers of the festival to call off the event.

They say that it is cruel and barbaric and that Hindu gods can be appeased by fruit and flower sacrifices.

"We're just giving out a message, that's all we can do at this stage," says protest organiser Pramada Shah.

The animal sacrifice has angered a lot of activists

"We're not saying stop the Gadhimai Festival - everybody's having a nice time," she says.

"But let's have it in a less gory manner is all we're trying to say."

But it is unlikely the animal sacrifice will stop.

Not only does the Gadhimai festival attract hundreds of thousands of worshippers, it is also big business.

The meat, bones and hides of the animals are sold to companies in India and Nepal.

Local hotels and restaurant owners thrive during the festival period.

And while protestors say they hope to raise awareness about the issue of animal cruelty, this ancient and bloody homage to the goddess Gadhimai looks set to continue.

show tonite in chapel hill at night light

2009-11-23T12:11:00.001-08:00

Mon 11/23 Blues Control (Queens, NY) / Jamie Stewart (of Xiu Xiu doing an experimental set) / Randy Pelosi and Ethan Clauset improv set - $ 6 9:30 PM

Blues Control - vox, keys, ryhthm track & guitar duo from Queens with the ear and the touch to bring krautrock alive in full psychedelic glory and seamless mood control. A lovely rockin relation. With stone classics out on Fusetron, Holy Mountain and Siltbreeze. Here on the last date of a two month long tour! Check a recent performance and interview here.

Jamie Stewart - front of Xiu Xiu here in an experimental solo set! gongs, signal generator, dogs, cats, mice and men!

Randy Pelosi and Ethan Clauset - Improv set from these two local artists & longtime collaborators who began playing together in the legendary Kismet.

my hand is frozen

2009-11-22T01:36:00.000-08:00

young man

clown

old female

female

painted face

old man

hmmm part 2

2009-11-22T00:41:00.001-08:00

2009-11-21T17:21:00.000-08:00

and she hurt you. and your anger elaborates memories of every moment you had with her. it pulls at seams of the trust she took for granted and stitches them back to your pain. how stupidly we hurt each other.

what are we, filthy little things, to cheat each other and collect reasons to cry. we hurt, then we ask for pity. what are we, filthy little things, to ask for pity.

Ahmad-Reza Ahmadi

2009-11-20T14:29:00.000-08:00

...I went up blue all the stairs;
The sky of our house was not the same as our neighbours,
I went down hungry all the stairs
To the depth of wheat.

Searching for the whiteness of the horse,
All over the wheat field I could see only one path,
Which my father, with his grey hair, trod.

I had crossed the wheat field alone,
I had seen the wheat
But still I could not say: My horse!
They reaped my horse.

we have a victor!

2009-11-18T23:54:00.000-08:00

beverly h.
is the winner of the xiu xiu pantheon
well done!!!!!
the answers R~

otis redding
martin hannett
maryanne amacher
freddie mercury
nina simone
william faulkner
tran anh hung and tran nu yen-khe
diamanda galas
elfriede jelinek
shigeru miyamoto
kenzaburo oe
steven patrick morrissey

2009-11-17T19:20:00.000-08:00

i wasn't used to myself there. i wished i could pass myself over, but i couldn't carry my weight. she folded herself next to me, and pinched the cellophane of her pack of camels-turkish silver. she wrapped the skin of her mouth around a cigarette and pulled taut.
i hardly said a lot of things, and she repeatedly emphasized her lips. i wished i could either leave or fuck her. we both felt neither would happen, and i should never have said hello.

the series is over- the gentleman is genesis~ZAC PENNINGTON of your parenthetical GIRLS

2009-11-16T23:19:00.000-08:00

1 what sound would you be happy to never hear again? The sound of a fork scrapping against someone's teeth between bites as they eat.
2 what do you do when you are feeling self destructive? Cross streets without looking both ways, avoid seatbelts, obsessive controlled consumption.
3 what nut, fruit, or vegetable would you use to build your castle? Hazelnut.
4 what is/was your favorite controlled/palliative substance? Methylenedioxymethamphetamine.
5 what do you want to see when you look at the sky? Milk.
6 what about yourself physically do you want to change? The length of my torso.
7 what item that is not food, do you wish was food? Windex.
8 what do you want to be free of? Impatience.
9 what book do you want to read but have not yet? Infinite Jest.
10 what deformity do you find attractive? Displaced canines, pronounced noses.

~Dear God, I Hate Myself~ cover and track list

2009-11-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

gray death
chocolate makes you happy
apple for a brain
house sparrow
hyunhye's theme
dear God, i hate myself
secret motel
falkland rd.
the fabrizio palumbo retaliation
cumberland gap
this too shall pass away (for freddy)
impossible feeling

"My heart goes is going ba bump ba bump ba bump." -Luis Salazar

2009-11-11T06:31:00.001-08:00

The state of Texas used to list all the final meal requests of death row inmates: final meal requests. But people complained that it was offensive, and they stopped.

"Chocolate birthday cake with "2/23/90" written on top..." -Miguel Richardson, DOB: 07/07/54, executed: 06/26/2001

But they still list all the Last Words of executed offenders: last words

"Yes I do. I know ya'lls pain, believe me I shed plenty of tears behind Carlos. Carlos was my friend. I didn't murder him. This what is happening right now is an injustice. This doesn't solve anything. This will not bring back Carlos. Ya'll fought real hard here to prove my innocence. This is only the beginning. I love each and everyone dearly. Dre My queen. I love you. Yaws, Junie I love yall. Stay strong, continue to fight. They are fixing to pump my veins with a lethal drug the American Veterinary Association won't even allow to be used on dogs. I say I am worse off than a dog. They want to kill me for this; I am not the man that did this. Fight on. I will see ya'll again. That's all I can say. " -Reginald Blanton, executed 10/27/2009

"No, I love you. May the Lord be with you. Peace, I'm done. " -Michale Rosales, executed 04/15/2009

"The Polunsky dungeon should be compared with the Death Row Community as existing not living. Why do I say this, the Death Row is full of isolated hearts and suppressed minds. We are filled with love looking for affection and a way to understand. I am a Death Row resident of the Polunsky dungeon. Why does my heart ache. We want pleasure love and satisfaction. It. The walls of darkness crushed in on me. Life without meaning is life without purpose. But the solace within the Polunsky dungeon, the unforgivesness within society, the church Pastors and Christians. It is terrifying. Does anyone care or who I am. Can you feel me people. The Polunsky dungeon is what I call the pit of hopelessness. The terrfying thing is the US is the only place, country that is the only civilized country that is free that says it will stop murder and enable justice. I ask each of you to lift up your voices to demand an end to the Death Penalty. If we live, we live to the Lord. If we die we die to the Lord. Christ rose again, in Jesus name. Bye Aunt Helen, Luise, Joanna and to all the rest of yall. You may proceed Warden. (began singing) " -Johnny Johnson, executed 01/12/2009

* Ninety-five percent of death row inmates cannot afford their own attorney. Court-appointed attorneys often lack the experience necessary for capital trials and are overworked and underpaid. In the most extreme cases, some have slept through parts of trials or have arrived under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
* Prosecutors seek the death penalty far more frequently when the victim of a homicide is white than when the victim is African-American or of another ethnic/racial origin.
* Co-defendants charged with committing the same crime often receive different punishments, where one defendant may receive a death sentence while another receives prison time.
* Approximately two percent of those convicted of crimes that make them eligible for the death penalty actually receive a death sentence.
* Each prosecutor decides whether or not to seek the death penalty. Local politics, the location of the crime, plea bargaining, and pure chance affect the process and make it a lottery of who lives and who dies.
* GEOGRAPHIC ARBITRARINESS: Since the U.S. Supreme Court reinstated the death penalty in 1976, 80% of all executions have taken place in the South. The Northeast accounts for less than 2% of executions.
source

zeitgeist addendum

2009-11-10T10:34:00.001-08:00

i've waited a year putting off watching this, mostly because it is 2 hours long. but i finally did. it is done pretty well, the ending is a little WEIRD.

i thought it would come across as "conspiracy theory" - but everything is explained pretty thoroughly.

if this doesn't play, like how it is not playing for me now: trying moving the time indicator over and pressing play, or look up on youtube or google video: zeitgeist addendum

new xiuxiu facebook page

2009-11-09T05:33:00.000-08:00

hi.

we set up an official xiuxiu facebook page.
it is pretty bare right now, but we will keep adding things a little by little until it is full of seeds and bulbs.

please find and add to your roster of thumbnailed friends. (search for "xiuxiu", not "xiu-space-xiu".

thanks.

xiu xiu pantheon and also it is a game!

2009-11-08T18:39:00.000-08:00

the 12 greek gods and goddesses are thus-
zeus
aphrodite
apollo
hephaestus
ares
artemis
athena
demeter
dionysus
poseidon
hera
hermes
the 12 gods and goddesses of xiu xiu are thus-

if you are the first person to correctly send their earthly names
to willitburn@hotmail.com
the acolyte shall mail you ambrosia
or a human prize if you are a mere human

a.e.m. #8 pink

2009-11-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

HELP YOUNG LOVERS!
a.e.m. #8
PINK
IS SENT OUT TODAY!
PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU
HAVE ANY PROBLEMS

maine

2009-11-04T09:01:00.000-08:00

so yet again the bigots steal civil rights- and yet again the sons of those same bigots are having their legs blown off in Afghanistan- is that the penance of bigots?

David Mixner

2009-11-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

"We have poured over $100,000,000 in the last two years into efforts where Americans feel it is their obligation to vote on our freedom. The entire concept is repugnant and disgusting. That we for the last three decades have been drawn into this game of 'this is politics' and fighting these ballot box horrors so that maybe by in five, ten or twenty years we will have enough victories to force our federal government to protect our freedom is simply not acceptable anymore. Imagine the good we could have done with all that money. Imagine the civil rights movement we could have built if we had the leadership that was willing to think out of the box and put it on the line.

Call this campaign against us what it is - Gay Apartheid.

Refuse to allow any of our fellow Americans, President Obama or our allies to view this as a political issue who time hasn't quite come. America is in the process of creating a system of Gay Apartheid. We will not quietly sit and accept it. All over the place, this nation is creating one set of laws for LGBT Americans and another set for all other Americans. That is the classic definition of Apartheid. Either our political allies are for Gay Apartheid or against it. If they are against it, they must fight with us and no longer duck like President Obama did in Maine and Washington. There is no half way in fighting Apartheid.

Today many will claim that we must surrender the word marriage or accept some sort of separate but equal arrangement. It didn't work in the African-American struggle for freedom and it doesn't work for us. We want full equality with the same rights, benefits and privileges as all other Americans now. We say to those friends, allies and even in our own community who want to accept that second class citizenship, "Oh No You Don't!" We will accept no compromises, time-lines, incremental approaches with our freedom. Don't counsel patience as if this is a new issue. We have been fighting these ballot box bigots for over three decades. Enough.

Third, it is clear that the political establishment in Washington doesn't understand that we no longer willing to wait until it meets their timetable or political needs.

President Obama standing on the sidelines in Maine and Washington was appalling. The failure of our national organizations and leaders to demand his involvement was equally appalling. The outrageous act of the Democratic National Committee sending an email into Maine asking Maine Democrats to call into "NEW JERSEY" instead of to support the fight against bigotry was unbelievable. No one gets to sit on the sidelines in an epic battle against apartheid and no one gets a free pass. If you want our support, you have to earn it. We are way beyond where we will accept a little bit in 2009, some in 2010 and maybe more in the second term. Does anyone think after yesterday election results and the upcoming 2010 election, Obama has the ability to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and "DOMA" next year? Does anyone really believe we haven't already missed a historic opportunity in the first 10 months of this year? Only a courageous fighting President and Congress can now help turn us this around and that we have not seen so far. Enough."

David Mixner

Question 1

2009-11-04T05:43:00.000-08:00

I think last night's loss in Maine was particularly hard because it was so close. There were so much hope and so much hard work riding on this. the early numbers saw No on 1 pulling ahead and i think many of us thought, this is it. finally! But around 12am, seeing the Yes on 1 number stay ahead by such a close but sure margin, and seeing no sign of it going down, i could feel my heart sink into my stomach.

I want to blame everyone. Obama, for not standing up for, for not even acknowledging the pertinence of this legislation. Instead, pulling his weight around some blatantly corrupt politician? (And let's not even get started on Don't ask don't tell.) The Catholic church for the incredible amount of work and contribution they put into this anti-marriage campaign, while choir boys are still being molested by celibate male priests. (Put some more effort into that, k?) The 52% of the Maine population, who stand so firmly against equality. Gay marriages will take nothing away from straight marriages. No straight marriage will be ripped apart just because their neighbors are also allowed to marry. And this whole crap about homosexuality being taught in public schools if gay marriages were allowed? Jeez. Yeah, I'm sure that's how people turn gay.

A friend of mine has once put this more eloquently than I:

"I would like to address the fundamental error on which you argument is built: that you are against equal marriage rights because you support the institution of family. The “family” versus “gay marriage” dichotomy is a clearly a false one. Gay people seek the right to create stable, loving, families, with the legitimacy that state-recognized marriage is uniquely able to provide. They have been prevented from doing so by those who, because they fear and hate those who are different from them, because they need to vilify the “other” in order to validate their own choices, seek to force gay people into lives of secrecy and shame...

You have taken this as an opportunity to present your message : you are less than a person. You are unequipped to be a husband or wife. You are unfit to raise a child. Your nature is fundamentally repugnant to God.

... This is not simply religious proselytizing. This is a threat, which you have directed toward every gay person... You are telling people with whom you attend class every day that they are doomed to burn in hell – that they are not your equals, or your peers, they are not deserving of basic human rights. They are, to use your language, a “problem of the world” that must somehow be solved."

For all my bitterness, I know we're on the winning side. (Perhaps that's why it makes the loss so much more bitter.) I know that we will look back to this moment in history with the same repugnance and regret as we have other civil rights violations. This per se discrimination against other human beings cannot last.

This does not mean that we can just stop campaigning for LGBT human rights and equality. It means we must work ever harder to bring about the change in this lifetime. To insist that our friends, our family, we ourselves, are allowed to love and marry freely in our own lifetimes. Call me optimistic, but I think it can, it must, happen. And with that hope, we go forward. we will never back down and We Will Win this fight.

pieter hugo

2009-11-03T20:53:00.001-08:00

Beth Cavener Stichter

2009-11-03T20:40:00.000-08:00

Beth Cavener Stichter

best to look at these while lilstening to "its halloween" but the shaggs

2009-10-31T16:51:00.001-07:00

Lorena Ros

2009-10-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

Lorena Ros

animated stereoviews

2009-10-29T10:35:00.000-07:00

stereoviews

you look good in that suit joe.

2009-10-29T02:48:00.000-07:00

Bourbon Old-Fashioned recipe

3 dashes bitters
1 tsp water
1 sugar cube
3 oz bourbon whiskey
1 slice orange
1 maraschino cherry

In an old-fashioned glass, muddle the bitters and water into the sugar cube, using the back of a teaspoon. Almost fill the glass with ice cubes and add the bourbon. Garnish with the orange slice and the cherry. Serve with a swizzle stick.

Serve in: Old-Fashioned Glass

cat version of this anywhere?

2009-10-29T01:59:00.001-07:00

new xiu xiu record

2009-10-27T14:31:00.000-07:00

new xiu xiu record

Dear God, I Hate Myself

is in the anachronistic ckan

it is out 2nd week of feb. in UK and

3rd week of feb. rest of the world

thank you!

cd, lp, deluxe lp and download

nigel nolan

2009-10-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

http://nigelnolan.blogspot.com/

maryanne amacher in heaven

2009-10-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

listen to her music it will change your life

it is wonderful

dark

inventive

curious

bizarre

terrifying and

beautiful

everything that one can aspire to, she created

please go here for a fund raiser for cash music

2009-10-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

http://cashmusic.org/?show=xiuxiu

there are lots of rarities from lots of good bands to be found

sales help non profit arts org, cash music